Relationship, Bromberg’s How To
I’ve been interested to write a series of articles about my take on how to do things. There are plenty of “how to” books and a seemingly endless supply of forums and reference materials on the internet, however, my slant will not only be my own experiences on the subject but also mixed in with the absurdities of life. I’ll try to do these articles in small shots (2 pages of text or less).
There are still books being written about relationships even though one would think everything has been said. Comedians are still doing jokes about dating, even though “dating jokes” have been around for decades. My question then, is this: What is there, if anything, that has not been said?
I have some idea of what has been said and it basically goes like this: Relationships tend to be a roller coaster ride and the ones that survive are the ones with the tolerance to withstand the highs and lows.
Here’s possibly something new in terms of analogy: A relationship needs a weatherperson.
It would be cool if you could turn on a gadget and a weatherperson would come on saying, “this week things are likely to get rainy and windy as we get into ‘female time of the month’ and this pressure system will be pushing into the area with intense volatility. Avoid driving on the road if you can (provoking your mate) or drive extra slow.
Even if it is not that time of the month, the weather report could apply to any stressful or uncomfortable periods of time. Stress at the job? Storms are coming in. Relative passed away? Beware of an indefinite cold front.
A weatherperson acts as an objective 3rd party, someone to keep things real and provide a reference point. Although such a thing does not exist, we could at least think about the effect if something did. Maybe the Chinese already have life weather people, I mean, they seem to be more advanced in medicine or the Japanese who have more advanced toilets that, so I have heard, have various buttons that do more features when you use the bathroom (I swear, that is a sign of an advanced civilization).
I do believe what we all strive for in a relationship is “sunny skies ahead” and little chance of precipitation.
A relationship shouldn’t be about “how to survive marriage” or these days “how to not get divorced.” The focus should be on the sunny skies. I always hear about how relationships change after people get married. Why? You get some government regulation on your relationship and all of the sudden you don’t feel the butterflies in your stomach like you used to? That’s silly and if it happens something is inherently wrong.
I have been with the same person for over 3 years and feel like I am married. We get into insignificant BS fights and do all those things that married people are famous for like who gets to buy the paper towels or something idiotic like that.
There was that TV show called the “Marriage Ref” in which celebrities mulled over relationship complications and then the host would make “the final call” as to who is right and who is wrong. Maybe we don’t need a marriage ref, but it would be helpful if someone could give us a weather report so we could anticipate stormy days ahead, and then, you know, put on a coat or some rain gear in preparation. Just like you don’t drive on roads that are covered with snow and ice, there are times in a relationship where you don’t travel—and people nevertheless will get in their car and see if they will come out alive.
How do you be in a good relationship? Assuming this is the person that you feel you want to spend an extended part of your life with, make sure you give yourself frequent weather reports. Seriously, if you are not prepared you are asking for car accidents. Given the fact that you are informing yourself of the good, bad and ugly, make sure you appreciate every sunny day that comes your way. If you do not, than more days will seem gloomier than they really are and you are setting yourself up for failure.
Enjoy whatever good weather is in your future and do your best to stay away from wind, rain, and, of course, natural disasters.