Dating Crazy Women
How to Measure Degrees of Crazy When Dating Women
So here is a theory I heard about crazy women and the dudes dating them. Crazy women are more “fun”. Listen its not the only time I have heard that, however it was the first time I had ever heard this phrase, “If it has tits or tires your gonna have a problem with it.” Super shout out to my train posse, Richard, Phillip and Abracadabra! Why do all men who are dating say women are crazy and visa versa. Interesting topic considering I am among the women myself in the dating pool. But really as a man looking for the right woman how do you navigate through the sea of crazies? Well that’s the thing, all of us women are crazy, it’s just the different degrees at which we run. Inspired by Mr. Richard Phillip… Here is an article written by a young woman, about women, from the POV of the poor bastards who never saw the note.
Most of us women run at a temperature of 98.6 degrees, but when measuring the degrees of crazy in us, well lets just say there are a whole lot of variants. Blogging at work is the best because you have so many people willing to help with a topic. Big shout to Joe who gave me the measurement scale for this article. When trying to measure the degree of crazy that you are dating, look at them in terms of their IQ. No, not they’re Intelligence quotient, (even though I would love someone capable of carrying on conversation with.) but the “INSANITY QUOTIENT” of an individual. Listen while this article might be about Women and The Different Degrees of Crazy, there will be another about the men who made them that way.
Lets start with the scale of the IQ when dating crazy women.
Degrees of Crazy Women IQ 1 Scenario:
“Facebook Means Forever, But Diamonds Last Longer”
“Fred” and “Sara” have been dating for a few days now. Sara is becoming impatient because Fred is still single on Facebook. She wonders when he is going to change his status. Sara’s 1 minute though process: “Maybe he’s sleeping with other people? Oh my god, Christie is writing on his wall again, that biatch! Well if Fred isn’t going to ask me out than I am just going to have to put in a relationship up. But really how has he not asked me out yet? I mean we spend everyday together, I sleep over every night… But its never official till its on Facebook!” Next Sara skims Fred’s Facebook again and again, looking for pictures from last nights party. Than she sees pictures of him and his ex girlfriend. Does it matter that they are from three years ago? Nope not to Sara. Furius she huffs, puffs and curses Fred down over the phone. Not really but she would like too. Instead she decides to blow up his phone until he picks up. By the end of their conversation, Fred decides maybe things are going to fast…
Dating Degrees of Crazy Women IQ 2 Scenario:
“ShaNayNay” Don’t Play Heyyyy
Bob runs into his ex girlfriend, “ShaNayNay” at the bar, (coincidentally because she didn’t follow him, for now) and they have been broken up for months. As a male, Bob has basic needs, (I get it I have guy friends) and he started “dating” again.
Now “ShaNayNay” sees Bob grinding up and down on his new lady friend and is like o no he didn’t. Rather than A.) not looking or B.) leaving the bar “ShaNayNay” displays degree 2 on the IQ scale. Grabbing the closest beverage, regardless of what or whose it is, “ShaNayNay” stampedes through the bar stiff arming the poor little virgin on the bar stool in the process. Getting up to the dance floor, “ShaNayNay” taps Bob’s shoulder and proceeds to give him a face full of liquid. O no Bob, you didn’t.
Dating Degrees of Crazy Women IQ 3 Scenario:
Carrie Underwood’s Song Inspired Me I Swear!
“Than I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires…”
If this sounds like you than I am sorry but you are right in the middle of our IQ for this article. Talk about crazy women! Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” came out a few years ago and I remember angry women blasting it in their cars imagining past boyfriends car windows shattering under the impact of their bats.
Need more? Watch the video below. And that’s IQ 3 for dating crazy women.
Carrie Underwood Women Watch Before He Cheats
Dating Degrees of Crazy Women IQ 4 Scenario:
Light It Up! Lisa Left Eye Lopes Style
Sitting on the train the other night I revisited a vague memory. Now I realize I was about 9 when it happened, but hey regardless I do remember. Lisa Left Eye Lopes, god rest her soul, will be remembered for many things. From her iconic career as a member of TLC to her charity foundation, Left Eye also had a dark side. Battling an abusive, alcoholic background and struggling with the same demons her entire life, Lopes bought them into her relationship with Andre Rison. Rumors that Rison abused Lopes swirled, but whatever the case she still set the entire house on fire. There is no anger like a woman scorned correct? Lopes decided to take Rison’s beloved tennis shoes and set them on fire within the whirlpool tube at the mansion. In a cardboard box the fire quickly spread, engulfing the entire property.
Dating Degrees of Crazy Women IQ 5 Scenario:
Hide Yo Package, Hide Yo Knife, Your Ex Going Lorena Bobbit on Your Butt Tonight
Don’t get me wrong, Lorena Bobbit went through some stuff. I am sure I will receive some heat for this, but really girls? She cut off her ex-husband’s penis. Really? A.) I would never want to get that close to it ever again if I were her and B.) Couldn’t you have just told the world he had herpes or something? IQ 6 goes to all those Lorena Bobbit’s out there who decide getting even means cutting off a mans, um, manhood?
This is the woman that knows no bounds. When she is enraged she just snaps. Could be the sweetest person on the planet but when you piss her off or do something the wrong way she has no boundaries and will go all the way if it’s necessary. These are the women who will pull a gun on you when you’re sleeping or take a knife and hold it under you while your sleeping.
There you have it, the different degrees of dating crazy women. Listen I love a good adrenaline rush and I am a lot to handle, but really the whole physical thing is just not my style. I find the best way to get even is just not to call them… Men expect us women to call and blow up their phones like WOAH. I have done it before. Not worth it. But hey that’s another topic on the men behind the women who go crazy.