What is a Soulmate?
What is a soulmate? Seems to be the million dollar question during these times. People look into the word soulmate and find many different things. Personally the question what is a soulmate never really dwelled upon my mind, until I met people that I felt I could never have made it to this day without.
Urban Dictionary defines the term soul mate as “A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet — a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.”
Funny because normally when one searches Urban Dictionary you would not think of it being so serious. But in answering the question of what is a soulmate, I feel like it pretty much hit it on the head. Sure I could have chosen other lovey dovey sites, however I am just not that type of chick.
A few years ago I got into the Sex and the City craze after watching the first movie. Carrie Bradshaw, Sara Jessica Parker’s character, is an actual columnist that makes her living by writing from her heart and incorporating the vivacious lives of her three best friends. But that’s the thing, all of us writers find inspiration from somewhere and recently I have been pondering this question of what is a soulmate because so many seem to either not believe in it or understand the connection.
Sex and the City has provided quotes for the Facebook status’ of many women who have been burned by guys or feel they can relate to the crazy carefree lives of the four women who took New York City by storm.
“Carrie: I’d like to think that people have more than one soulmate.
Samantha: I agree! I’ve had hundreds.
Carrie: Yeah! And you know what, if you miss one, along comes another one. Like cabs.”
So either you agree with Samantha, that you believe that there are hundreds of soulmates, or perhaps you can be more reserved and look it in the way I do. I believe we do have a soulmate, all of us, however times get crazy and the world is not what it used to be. There are factors that come into play when it comes to finding your soulmate. People have to work more and play less, therefore they seem to think they will never find someone that can truly relate to them. Personally I believe the true answer to the question what is a soulmate, can be found by everyone, but first you have to find yourself.
Many people wonder what a soulmate is because they have not found what they truly love within themselves. I have my writing, my career, this passion for life and I refuse to give it up for anyone, instead I look at it like Carrie Bradshaw, there are a few soulmates out there and I have met some. Why am I sharing this in a blog? I don’t know. It has been on my mind for some time, with the holiday season and all I realize many want to find love.
What is a soulmate? Well it could be a puppy! I adopted my Champers four years ago, the entire time of which I have been pretty much single. But I know what I don’t want in a guy therefore I refuse to settle. Is my dog my soulmate? Yes one of them. He taught me what love was to be honest. Showing me that soulmates can come in all sizes and colors. But don’t get me wrong, I haven’t given up on finding my one true love aka male soulmate that I can spend the rest of my life with. It is just not my daily priority.
There is nothing I would like more than to find someone to go walk around the Christmas shops in Union Square with. Ultimate wish, grab a cup of hot apple cider or hot chocolate, head to Rockefeller Christmas Tree and sit and just do some hardcore people watching and than head over to Bryant Park for some ice skating. In fact its funny, I have asked for this for the past 7 years now on Christmas from my boyfriends. What I want to do is go see the tree. No one has ever taken me. My best friend and I went last year finally, taking bets on who would fall first on the ice down below us, and certainly he is an awesome person but not my soulmate. In fact another quote from Sex and the City reminds me of this theory of mine.
“Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with.”
Ok, I get that. But I believe we have multiple soulmates when it comes to friends we meet along the way. The individuals that awaken different areas within our souls, almost like a map into ourselves. Once we feel like we really understand who were are, that is when we find the person to spend the rest of our lives with.
I don’t know if your like me. When I ask what is a soulmate, I answer it with the person that will walk besides me, enjoy the things I enjoy, entice me to try new things and have the similar thirst for adventure that I have maintained over the years. At the age of 26, sure I am young, however sometimes emotionally you can be more mature and that can make it tricky as well.
Whats my secret? I stopped searching for my soulmate and instead just focused on myself. The last few months of my life I let go of something that I had held tight and honestly I have never felt better. You shouldn’t have to fight to find your soulmate, instead they should find you.
Look around at your friends, whether you’re a guy or girl, because some of them may be your soulmates. What is a soulmate? A person who opens the doors you otherwise would never find within yourself. They hold up a mirror to you, respect your strengths, recognize and help you to reconstruct your weaknesses, as well as finally standing by your side through the entire ordeal we know as finding ourselves.
My entire life I have found myself in better company with men. Women just never seemed to make good friends for me, too much unwanted competition. I just want to live life, go on adventures and brush things off my shoulder, oh yea and communication is awesome. Guys just seem to be better with that. A few years ago I realized the tides were turning and guys were no longer just friends. Sure the ones I have had for years and years will always be my brothers, however hormones change and meeting new guys as just friends wasn’t the same as when I was 15. A few girls now have shown me the meaning of that quote from Sex and the City, however I have yet to find my guy.
That’s the thing, I believe we find the majority of our soulmates within our friendships, however only one true love can provide us with the lifetime partnership and trust that many seek. Know who you are in order to know what you are searching for. Soulmates are not to be sought after, instead only believe they exist and I bet you find the answer to your question quickly. What is a soulmate? Exactly what you have in mind, with a bit of faith they will find you. As far as the my dream day around the Rockefeller Christmas tree, I have held tight to my wish since 2003. No way am I giving up now on it, one day it will happen. What is a soulmate? Well the more you ask that question the further you are from the answer. Know it, accept it and have faith that you deserve it, no matter how crazy it may seem. Happy Holidays all!
Sex and The City “We Are Soulmates”