Dating Advice For Guys and Girls

Whose better to give dating advice than the people who are dating?  When I said let’s be honest about dating, it sucks, I meant the whole process.  I need factual dating advice.  What do I do if he shows up late?  Or how do I know that online dating is going to work for me?  Dating advice is hard to come by and even harder to trust once you receive it.

If you don’t know me by now, I am 25, single and oh yes female.  I reside in the great city of New York, you know concrete jungle where dreams are made?  Yeah Alicia got it right, there’s nothing I can’t do except successfully date.  Last night I was emailing back and forth with another member of the BQB and he had some dating advice for me.  He asked me how I even would have time to date working as much as I do.

First piece of dating advice, (thanks Mike B.) do you even have time to date?  I know I don’t.  Realistically I will give this dating advice to anyone, if you want a career focus on that first and the perfect someone comes later.  How can you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with if you don’t even know who you want to be in 20 years from now?

Now listen Mike B. and I are co-workers, we chat online here and there and he works full time as well, but it is interesting because he picked that up about me.  Another piece of dating advice ladies, guys like when you are available just as much as you like when they are available.

Often times friends come to me for dating advice because I am a girl who hangs out with a lot of guys.  I offer both sides dating advice in one way or another.  For my guy friends I am straight up with them, a girl wants you to call, don’t wait three days.  Trust me most of us (including myself on occasion) have sat by our phones and waited, with each day our hopes diminish and by the time you call we are either like F you or wondering why you didn’t call sooner.  The busier a girl is, the less likely she will notice, but most do.  My problem is I forget to call back or answer text messages lately.  It’s terrible…

The older we get the less patience we have for games, also by now you should have some sort of idea of what you look for in a potential dinner date.  If your saying no Holly I don’t, than my dating advice to you, look in the mirror and ask yourself do you know who is staring back?  You cannot be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself. Oldest piece of dating advice but still rings crystal true!

What happens though if you attract crazies?  Well my dating advice to you is when you head out on a date; ask about their friends, family and personal life.  See how they respond.  According to your date are they the victim? Or are they proudly boasting to you that they are a heartbreaker?  Do they bring up old relationships right away?  How so?  Sometimes they do just naturally come into conversation however it is not proper according to dating advice 101.  For me I try not to talk about the exes at all for at least a few dates, dating advice that I received from someone after I rambled on one time.

What about dating advice pertaining towards picking up someone at a bar without them thinking you’re a total jerk or ladies like you’re a slut?  Well personally for me, I like when a guy is just honest. It takes a lot of guts to come up to a girl and ask for her number.  However do not say your gorgeous, beautiful, I love your smile, aka pick up line it right off the bat, why? It sets off a defensive mode in some of us that have intelligence.  Ladies, you dress for what you hope to impress.  Dating advice for wardrobe choice, don’t go out in hoochie coochie skirts and expect to come home with a good guy, because honey they ain’t looking at your smile.

So what works at getting an intimidating girl’s number?  Well for me, I know I have had many guys tell me I come across like A) I have a significant other or B) “that” friend aka B eye T C H.  My advice for landing a date with someone like me is to be intelligent, strike my attention by carrying on an actual conversation.  Recently I was working at a local festival outside and the winds ended up blowing over all my pens.  As I was picking them up a girl who appeared my age came over and started to help me. At first I was like thanks so much but before I could thank her she told me her friend wanted my number, however was too shy to ask.  First thought in my head, great lady listen I don’t want to get in between you and your dude.  But she was actually serious and it totally caught me by surprise, leading to me surrendering my phone number, the correct one.  Definitely hands down greatest method I was ever approached with, two thumbs up Ginger! O Doug you owe your girl one!

Ginger actually commented on some dating advice and girl I am using it.  Treat the man you date as disposable as they come across, because in fact it’s not the relationship that sucks, but the person we choose to date.  What happens though when you think you have found the perfect mate and they turn out to cheat, lie and totally break your heart?  51-year-old Dave Aluise, bought up a good point, what happens when women just dispose of you and your not deserving of it?  Well Dave, my dating advice to you is this.  We all see the warning signs, the trick is feeling them, accepting them and saying hey its not me, its just that I am way to open and willing to help out others.  I have managed to date some cool guys and in the end it always seems that I knew it wasn’t going to work out in my favor, but I waited, altered my life or hung on hoping they would feel the same way in return.  But what sort of dating advice is it to say just know and trust the person your with, because hey we all have been there and gotten screwed over by that statement one way or another.

The best dating advice I can give you here is when you don’t worry about where the other person is, they call you; they want to be with you, than you have found the right one.  I know as busy as I am, if you knock me off my socks; I will make time for you.  However on the flip side, no guy is more important than my career, That’s why I have realized a guy who thinks I would ever put him before my dreams is not for me, nor is the guy who tries to contain me, tame me and claim me.  Another great piece of dating advice from Carrie of Sex and the City, your best friends those are your soul mates.

My guy friends, well they are quite numerous and prominent in my life.  Some people say meeting the family is the biggest deal; I say meeting my friends is the biggest deal.  That brings me to my next piece of dating advice, if you are on a date that involves human interaction, watch see how your date mingles, how they interact and approach other people.  Do they hang back?  Or do they want to be the life of the party?  Are they their as your guest?  Or are you with them as theirs?  Are they proud to have you next to them or are they trying to assert this is my life you should feel privileged to be here with me.  You have to be aware of how your date is at all times, it’s the subtle hints that could save you from the messy break up 3 months later or find you the one you have been looking for.

Other dating advice I found quite interesting came from my friend Zoila.  With quite the history of dating, Zoila knows all the red flags, yet cannot seem to follow them.  But she is not alone in this next story and I will admit I am a culprit as well.  You know when your friends chime in with dating advice or a statement along the lines of,  “Hey ummm yeah that guy/girl well their just not for you.”  More often than not, sorry… Friends are right.  When it comes to dating advice, listen to your friends, don’t just throw it out, because honestly who knows you better than yourself?  Friends know what you like, what you don’t like, they have weathered a storm that someone who wants to date you has not and they are still around.  I get it, friendships aren’t intimate, but the thing is shouldn’t the person you date end up being your best friend?  If you’re reading this for dating advice than go for the person who makes you laugh, you can carry on a conversation with and fills the friend role with the benefits!

So many people need dating advice, they seek it out.  What do you want in life? What makes you happy?  Look for the people who seek the same thing.  I cherish honesty, loyalty and Jackass aka I want someone who isn’t going to look at me and say wow I thought you were intelligent until you said Jackass.  I love Johnny Knoxville and the rest of the crew, I have an interesting sense of humor, it doesn’t make me any less intelligent.  In fact for me I think that Jackass is a break from the sick reality that we live in and I can take a break from the news, corruption and greed to just relax and laugh.

The thing is dating advice is a lot to take in.  Try online dating, I know a few people who it has worked for.  Be honest if you want a relationship than you want a relationship.  If you just want a fling than so be it.  At the end of the day the best dating advice I can give to you is this, as long as your honest with the person on what exactly you want to get out from their acquaintance, you cannot go wrong.  Recently I told one of my good guy friends that he shouldn’t feel bad for not wanting to call a girl or slow things down, because he was honest from the get go.  He didn’t want a relationship.  Right away that sends red flags on my end as a female.  If he says from the beginning he doesn’t want something than already he has it made up in his mind that you do.  The problem is guys think every girl wants a relationship and most of us do, however for me I just want to take it day by day.  Why the hell am I going to give you any of my precious time if you are already decided upon me not being worth yours unless I am taking off my clothes?  Ummm sorry no.  The thing is I wondered what made me so angry with guys when they said well I like you but I don’t want a relationship.   Its because they tell me that I want a relationship based on the fact that I am calling them and wanting to do things.  News flash I have friends but I want to maybe get to know you, but hey I have realized, I don’t want a dude who is going to constantly be thinking I want to trap him and put a ring on my finger… All I want is to figure out why you caught my eye, at the end of a few dates if I still don’t know than sorry I just seem to take my time.  Most girls though do think sleep with them on the second or third date, boyfriend by the fourth or fifth?  Ok so are we Facebook official or what?

Another line of dating advice everyone puts their entire life up on Facebook.  Are you dating the person or their profile?  However check out and see how often someone is on, are they really just forgetting to add you?  Or is it that they have other options?  The whole thing is communication.  Be open, communicative and call rather than texting the majority of the time.  A text throughout the day here and there is cool however I would much rather meet face to face or talk on the phone.  Its easier, and I get to know someone better.

Dating isn’t easy, however we make it harder than it really is.  Thanks for adding to the dating advice in this article and for more stay tuned! Future topics will be on online dating sites, dating advice for those of us who are in long distance relationships and military relationships.  If you have dating advice on one of those please send it over to [email protected] or comment below!

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